Stalking

Definition

“…the willful and without legal purpose, repeated harassment of another; or course of conduct directly, indirectly or by third party…” which has four primary elements:

  1. knowingly;
  2. on more than one occasion;
  3. at a specific person;
  4. with intent either to:
    a) place in reasonable fear of safety or
    b) cause substantial emotional distress pertaining to death; bodily injury; or continued harassment.

This definition comes to us from the Chapel Hill Police Department.

Stalking is a type of sexual violence that can lead to physical or sexual assault. It is a crime in all states.

Stalking can take many forms, including following someone, making threats to the victim or someone close to them, sending unwanted gifts, making unwanted or unsolicited phone calls or emails, and property damage.

Learn more about tips for keeping yourself safe if you think you’re being stalked here.

Am I being stalked?

If you feel unsafe because of attention another person is giving you, it could be harassment or stalking. Most of the time, the purpose of stalking is to attempt to force a relationship with someone who is unwilling or otherwise unavailable. Many times, a stalker is someone who used to date or wants to date the person they are stalking. If you feel that someone has been doing any of these things and it is unwanted, you may be being stalked:

  • Contacting you excessively (phone, hang-ups, texts, Facebook posts or messages, emails, etc)
  • Receiving unwanted gifts/cards/letters
  • Being followed, including someone showing up unexpectedly
  • Being threatened
  • Your family, friends, or pets are being threatened
  • Your property is being damaged
  • Internet or email is being used against you (hate email, obscene messages, receiving computer viruses, being spammed with junk mail, pictures or messages of you are posted online)

On a college campus, some examples of what a stalker might do include:

  • Leaving harassing or unwanted notes under someone’s door or on their dry erase board
  • Constantly checking someone’s online profile to keep watch on their activities
  • Constantly texting or calling someone who does not wish to communicate with you
  • Posting information,whether it be true or false on a site such as Juicycampus or Collegeacb for the purpose of embarrassing, scaring, or harming someone’s reputation
  • Looking up someone’s schedule or activities on social media for the purpose of following him/her/hir
  • Messaging someone repeatedly when they have asked you to stop or if you are using these messages to try to control them.
  • Posting pictures of someone online to try to embarrass or scare them

Stalking is a serious form of interpersonal violence, and can lead to other violence such as a physical or sexual violence.

Consider using the Stalking Incident Log from the Stalking Resource Center to document any stalking behavior.

Cyberstalking

the use of the internet, email, or other electronic communication devises to stalk a victim, such as:

  • Repeated threatening emails
  • Unsolicited hate mail
  • Obscene emails or messages
  • Posting messages in chat rooms
  • Spamming the victim with junk mail
  • Sending computer viruses
  • Disseminating victim’s personal information
  • Posting pictures/messages of the victim

These perpetrators can be in the same community or thousands of miles away, making it easier for them to remain anonymous and harder to catch. Social media like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and FourSquare enable these perpetrators to gain private information about individual.

 

Cyberstalking vs. Offline Stalking

Similarities

  • Majority of cases involve persons with whom the victim previously had a relationship.
  • Stalkers are more commonly men; victims are more commonly women.
  • Stalkers are frequently motivated by the desire to control and/or manipulate the victim.

Differences

  • While offline stalking generally involves the perpetrator being in the same community, cyberstalkers may be located next door or thousands of miles away.
  • The availability and convenience of electronic communications technology makes it easier for a cyberstalker to enlist third parties to harass or threaten the victim.
  • A cyberstalker can often encourage further contact by leaving enticing messages or posts.
  • Cyberstalkers find it much easier to remain anonymous and thereby tougher to catch.
  • Electronic communication lowers the barriers to harassment and threats because a cyberstalker can avoid personal contact with the victim.

 

The Cyberstalker’s Toolbox

  • Email address that is publicly available
  • Public (and even private) directory information
  • Google or other search engines revealing personal information
  • Accessing contact information from mutual friends or contacts
  • Social networking sites (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, FourSquare)

Tips for keeping yourself safe if you think you might be being stalked:

If you suspect that you are being stalked:

  1. COMPLAIN – In a direct manner, make clear that you do not wish to receive any further communication and end all communication with the person who is stalking you.
  2. DOCUMENT – Record all the details of your relationship history, including all information that you know about the stalker.  Keep a log of all emails, instant messages, and other communications that you receive.  Include the date, time, and a summary of each communication.  When possible, print and keep a hard copy of any communications.
  3. ACT – Take reasonable steps to keep your contact information private.  Block unwanted emails or contact the ISP of the person sending the unwanted communications.
  4. INFORM – As necessary, contact a local law enforcement agency and/or campus resources, such as the Dean of Students Office.
  5. ASK – Even though cyberstalking does not involve physical contact, it can be just as threatening and distressing as other crimes.  Victims may experience psychological trauma, as well as physical and emotional reactions to the experience.  Always seek help from appropriate professionals (e.g., Dean of Students, LGBTQ Center, Counseling and Wellness, Carolina Women’s Center, etc).

On-campus services for students who are being stalked:

*go to my.unc.edu
*log in with your onyen and password
*select “update personal information” on the left side of the page
*underneath and to the right of your provided address and and phone information there is a box marked “public”. Un-checking this box will remove your information from the UNC Chapel Hill directory

State and National resources for people who are being stalked:

  • Safety planning – National Stalking Resource Center
  • Stalking Incident Log – National Stalking Resource Center
  • Address Confidentiality Programs – National Stalking Resource Center
  • North Carolina Address Confidentiality Program: If you have experienced abuse, sexual assault, or stalking and would like to keep your (new) address private, you may apply to be a participant of the North Carolina Address Confidentiality Program. To be eligible for the program you must move or be in the process of moving. This program allows you to have a substitute mailing address separate from your physical address. Any mail sent to the provided substitute address is automatically forwarded to your physical address by the state. You may also use the substitute address to apply for a driver’s license, register to vote, and sign up for utilities like water and electricity.