Online Dating

Searching for relationship resources on the Internet and connecting with others online is a common experience and can be very helpful in building a community network or meeting potential romantic partners.

Safety Guidelines for Connecting with People Online

Here are a few things to keep in mind to help reduce your vulnerability to victimization:

  • Never give out your home address, phone number, social security number, credit cards numbers, or any other personal details to people you don’t know.
  • Use a nickname or alias instead of your real name, or give only your first name in chat rooms, discussion groups, on message boards, and in online profiles.
  • Trust your instincts! If you pick up on contradictions or inconsistencies from your chat friend, if someone sounds like they are much older than they say, or something doesn’t feel right when you’re chatting online or talking on the phone, end the conversation.
  • Talk by phone, IM, skype, or email for at least a week or more before meeting in person. If the other person is genuine and safe, they’ll likely be happy to get to know you via email first. Anyone who pushes for an instant (or even same night) visit should be treated with extreme caution.
  • Have a conversation about expectations before meeting someone in person for the first time. Meet online friends in public places where there are sure to be other people around. Never go to someone’s house, apartment, or residence hall room who you have just met.
  • Have a safe call set up in advance when you’re meeting someone new. Tell a friend where you’re going, and arrange with that friend that you will call him/her at a specific time to indicate how the meet-up is going. Have a code word you can use if you need help. Tell the person you’re meeting with that you have to call your friend at a specific time for safety.
  • If you don’t want to use a safe call, tell someone that you’re meeting an online friend in person for the first time. Let a friend know where you’re going and what time you’ll be home. They can keep an eye on the time and check up on you should you be late.
  • Your body is yours. You are in control of it. If you don’t want to be touched, make that known. If something starts going farther than you like, past the point where you feel comfortable, then speak up. If someone goes too far with you, remember that you did not ask for it, you do not deserve it, and you have a right to respect. Look to the Get Help section on this website for more information if you experience unwanted sexual contact.

Protecting Yourself from Cyberstalkers

Photo of Mobile Phone
In addition to the items above about online dating…

  • Do not share your passwords with anyone
  • Google yourself and request that personal information be removed from profiles
  • Use a reliable anti-virus program and update the program regularly
  • Report repeated inappropriate emails or posts to your Internet Service Provider (ISP) and follow up on your complaints